I've been feeling a little blue the past week or so. Late PPD? who knows, I think it mostly has to due with being back at work. There is so much guilt involved with leaving my kiddo in daycare while I work. I got lucky the first two weeks, he got to stay home with his daddy who was temporarily laid off. Last week was his first time in actual "day care". My little man decided to protest the situation by refusing to eat. He went from 6:45 am to 2:00 pm before he'd eat. He did about the same thing the next day too. Ug made me feel so bad. Then he's been fussier lately so the wheels start running in my head of what could be wrong...new mom worries such as he must have baby reflux to early teething to my screwy schedule is ruining him....ah! Any way all of this added to a serious lack of sleep has me feeling pretty down. I "wrote a post" at work the other day in my email since I'm not allowed to blog at work. It was such a downer I decided not to post it. Being a mom is definitely as hard as everyone said it would be and so much more. Not that I'm complaining I'm so lucky to have my beautiful son. I waited 5 years for this little guy, I think it's trying to find my new path as a mom...how to meld the "old Liz" with the new "mom Liz".
So to end on a good note here are some positives....my tomatoes are ripening, I finally successfully grew a red bell pepper, the news just said chocolate helps prevent heart disease....I should be in the clear!! Xander likes his baby bjorn facing outward....this is a valuable discovery. It is a beautiful day today sunny but not hot, and Kris has work again...hurray!!!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
The Yard
So here are a few pictures of the yard, please ignore the fact the lawn hasn't been mowed in weeks. Last week it was pretty hot and this week it rained so my lawn mower (Kris) hasn't gotten to it yet. The horrible wet and cold spring & summer has stunted my garden. I had to start cucumbers 3 times, so they are so tiny, it'll be September before I get any fruit off the vine. I'm starting pumpkins now, maybe they'll be Christmas pumpkins? I couldn't find any pumpkin starts that were the smaller quicker version...oh well. My peas got buried in my arugula so they look pretty weak this year. I guess I should be lucky I have anything based on the fact Alexander was born right at the beginning of planting time. Oh and lets not forget that my lettuce, which always does well was eaten by my blind dog! I think his nose works too well now. At least the tomato bushes are looking good, although only a few fruits still. I'm still trying to decide how to protect those from Vinny...
We got a rack for my cloth diapers. I love looking at it, its like watching money, no cost of disposables, I don't have to pay for the dryer to run...I just love it! Not to mention the fresh air and sun make them fresh and clean, I feel much better putting those on my baby's bum than chemically treated disposable diapers. I just love doing cloth diapers, I can't even totally explain why. Maybe its the first green thing I'm really able to do whole heatedly.
Oh and a picture of my flowers on the front porch. I won't show you the pots with flower skeletons because I always forget they don't get the rain even though they are outside, so then I forget to water them...sigh!
We got a rack for my cloth diapers. I love looking at it, its like watching money, no cost of disposables, I don't have to pay for the dryer to run...I just love it! Not to mention the fresh air and sun make them fresh and clean, I feel much better putting those on my baby's bum than chemically treated disposable diapers. I just love doing cloth diapers, I can't even totally explain why. Maybe its the first green thing I'm really able to do whole heatedly.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Bath Time
Bath time is fun for the little man, he's big enough to sit up and splash his feet in the water!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Wasted Time
My 12 week maternity leave is more than 1/2 over. I already feel the anxiety slipping back into my life. I really didn't miss it, I had begun to enjoy following Alexander's schedule. It might help if my work would finalize my part time request for the next 12 weeks, I just can't see jumping back in full time. Especially since my job is relatively slow paced and yes boring. I think my heart will break sitting at my desk for 8 hours knowing I could be at home with Alexander. Dang I hate money and bills, if it weren't for them I could stay home...minor details right?
My other frustration is that I haven't done much of what I had wanted to do on my maternity leave. While yes many people tell me I had a baby and caring for him and sleeping is all I need to do. For a large part they are right, but there have also been more than necessary hours wasted watching reality shows on Netflix...seriously I got sucked into the whole first season of Teen Mom. Maybe I just wanted to prove I was doing better than them? Say Yes to the Dress is also in my que...yes women spending ridiculous amounts of money on wedding dresses some how has caught my attention. I do tend to try to do too much, and be a perfectionist, but unfortunately my other side is a lazy tv-aholic. I wanted to explore recipes, weed my yard, take walks, maybe train my dogs instead of holler at them all the time. I've had time to read books, go to farmers markets...but instead I have created a permanent hiney print in my couch as the weeks have quickly slipped by.
In my defense the first two weeks were a blurry disaster of sleeplessness and hormonal crash. I've managed to keep the dishes washed and the house gets cleaned once a week, and tidied daily. I've fallen madly in love with this little boy and seem to keep him pretty happy, and this week I started working out again, I've lost all but about 5 pounds I gained while pregnant. Of course there is about another 10 lurking around from before I got pregnant and some serious firming up that needs to happen...but its a start!
I guess as usual I struggle to find balance, and to not to demand so much of myself. I need to just be happy to be home. Some days are tough too...today it's nearly noon and I still haven't showered.
Well I could explore my use of time some more, but some one is crying and thinks I should spend time with him...which is my favorite past time.
My other frustration is that I haven't done much of what I had wanted to do on my maternity leave. While yes many people tell me I had a baby and caring for him and sleeping is all I need to do. For a large part they are right, but there have also been more than necessary hours wasted watching reality shows on Netflix...seriously I got sucked into the whole first season of Teen Mom. Maybe I just wanted to prove I was doing better than them? Say Yes to the Dress is also in my que...yes women spending ridiculous amounts of money on wedding dresses some how has caught my attention. I do tend to try to do too much, and be a perfectionist, but unfortunately my other side is a lazy tv-aholic. I wanted to explore recipes, weed my yard, take walks, maybe train my dogs instead of holler at them all the time. I've had time to read books, go to farmers markets...but instead I have created a permanent hiney print in my couch as the weeks have quickly slipped by.
In my defense the first two weeks were a blurry disaster of sleeplessness and hormonal crash. I've managed to keep the dishes washed and the house gets cleaned once a week, and tidied daily. I've fallen madly in love with this little boy and seem to keep him pretty happy, and this week I started working out again, I've lost all but about 5 pounds I gained while pregnant. Of course there is about another 10 lurking around from before I got pregnant and some serious firming up that needs to happen...but its a start!
I guess as usual I struggle to find balance, and to not to demand so much of myself. I need to just be happy to be home. Some days are tough too...today it's nearly noon and I still haven't showered.
Well I could explore my use of time some more, but some one is crying and thinks I should spend time with him...which is my favorite past time.
Monday, June 27, 2011
My First Post
I have debated a blog for years. I love reading other peoples blogs, and usually think of clever posts I could write at awkward times like in the shower or as I'm drifting off to sleep, but as I sit here while my hubby plays softball and my munchkin hangs out next to me in the couch I finally decided to start a blog. I don't know if anyone will follow it, and that is fine I can't imagine what I have to say could be all that exciting.
Originally I was going to start a blog to chronicle our mountain climbing experiences, but with the addition of Alexander this spring, my mountain climbing has definitely been put on the back burner for a while, lets hope we can be back to it in a year or so.
So now this will just be the journey of us. Discovering parenthood, cooking discoveries, photo's from our adventures, house projects, and with 3 dogs and 3 cats I'm sure they'll make it into my blog as well.
So cheers and here is to this wonderful ride called life!
Originally I was going to start a blog to chronicle our mountain climbing experiences, but with the addition of Alexander this spring, my mountain climbing has definitely been put on the back burner for a while, lets hope we can be back to it in a year or so.
So now this will just be the journey of us. Discovering parenthood, cooking discoveries, photo's from our adventures, house projects, and with 3 dogs and 3 cats I'm sure they'll make it into my blog as well.
So cheers and here is to this wonderful ride called life!
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